Grouchiness, Frustrations...and Insomnia

Have you ever been up too late and you want nothing more than to be in bed but there are so many thoughts and emotions running through your head that you know it would be pointless to even try to sleep? That seems to be where I am right now. It's almost midnight and I have to get up at five something...yet here I am, pouring my heart out in cyberspace.

I'm frustrated right now because I let myself get caught up in too much and allow myself to become grouchy. Is there ever a good reason to be grouchy? I think it's one thing to be grouchy inside and have a bad attitude, but it's totally another thing when you take all the frustrations and grouchiness and slam it on an unsuspecting victim. I would say in the classroom, this can happen a lot. One student makes a bad choice and everyone suffers. I feel bad for my students who can't read my mood and tell me their pencil broke when I'm about to explode.

I feel the worst about grouchiness when I take it out on my friends and don't allow myself to have a good time in a group setting. I hate it when people have a bad attitude yet I find myself doing the same thing. I was grouchy tonight in my smallgroup and I definitely took it out on certain friends. It's almost as if all my frustrations of the day and disappointments in certain students are stored up in me until just the right moment when I feel I have been wronged. And then...watch out! It all comes spilling towards whoever the unlucky person is.

Tonight in smallgroup, we talked about wisdom...where it comes from and how we can obtain it. I feel like I gain a lot of wisdom through experiences like these where I learn from my mistakes while at the same time learning how to be humble when it comes to apologizing and admitting that I indeed was at fault. Goodnight!